A month after

So, ya I have falling off the bandwagon of the blogging thing. Oh well, I told you that might happen in my first post. I am lazy, I am busy, I am to tired, I am taking care of kids, I am cooking, I am playing games, and or I am living life. Hey, they are excused but whatever it is what it is. I am here now, so ya.

How has it been going? You might be asking yourself. Well, it is going okay. I am not loosing as fast as "I" would like, but the doctor or nurse in this case seemed okay with it. So, who knows. I think I need to add more exercise to my life (which I am just starting to do, besides you know the normal chase two toddlers, clean house, do all the errands blah blah blah). I am actually getting back to the Y. I have actually gone to the Y, three times this week. I think it was three times. I know it was twice cause I went last night and then again today.. Walked on the treadmill, just to ease myself back into it. I am doing well. I am increasing time, speed, hills, and distance. So, ya it is a bonus. I am glad I am doing it. The minimum is 30 minutes, but I think I am going to increase that too, because I can do it. I also need to add weight training or something, so my arms don't turn flabby and maybe tighten up some of the skin. 

So I had my first month check up post-op and I weighed in at 287. From original max weight of 323 that isn't horrible. I am making progress. I think though once I reached the upper 80's of the 200s my weight loss stalled. Which, I am changing now that I am getting more active. I weighed myself this morning and I am at 284, so getting closer to the 70s so BONUS... I am hoping by next weigh in with the dietitian I will be at 260s. We shall see that is about 20 pounds in a month. I can do it. I am setting a small goal. We shall see. I look in the mirror and I don't see a change, but I ask my husband and he says he notices the change. My clothes don't really fit any different, but then again I mainly wear yoga pants and leggings. I have a theory, that when I loose weight gravity just helps it all go lower into my belly (which is already my butt in the front)... seriously I have a HUGE stomach, and that is the biggest issue in my weight. If I could just cut it off, dude I would be super thin... but alas you can't... so ya... cut out the stomach instead! WOO.. :P

So.... cravings... I want chocolate, and here and there I have a small piece of chocolate and I am good. I am not doing well on the protein shakes. I will be entirely honest with you all, not doing them at all. Nasty nasty nasty stuff. I have tried like 5-6 brands ranging from chicken flavor, to chocolate, to vanilla, and ya.. BLAH... I have even done a gatoraid type thing and blah. Don't like it. Of course I am supposed to be eating 65g of protein a day. Which seems like a lot. I am still not eating much. I can eat about two-three bites and I am full and done. It is crazy. I think I am only getting about 300-500 calories a day. You would think I would be loosing more, but again I think my body is in survival mode, who knows. I shall walk it off, or as Taylor Swift sings: Shake It Off! 

So, ya I think I am done rambling for now. Hopefully I will get to you all later to update you. 

Until next time!

The Smokin Dragon!

DR Check up new tastes

So, yesterday I had my first post-op doctor check to make sure things were going good. Which they were. I weighed in at 300.5 pounds and the nurse was happy with those results. So, was I. I don't see the difference, but 30 pounds should mean a physical difference, right? I do have a little more energy (even though on occasion I am battling the roller coaster of energy, like I mentioned before) and today I went to the Y and walked on the tred mill for 30 minutes. It is a start. I went a little over a mile, and I thought I could do more at my normal speed, but half way through my walk I got pains and tired so I slowed my pace. Still made my mile so ROCK ON!. It is all good.

So, ya the nurse yesterday said I could start full liquid diet (cream soup, adding protein, etc). We went out to dinner after a few running around (shopping), and I had a roasted garlic, onion, tomato, basil soup that was OMG delicious. I am not sure if it is always that good, but since I was on a different flavor palate, my taste buds exploded with taste. It was AWESOME! I ordered a cup of soup and only took a few bites and I was full. It felt weird only ordering a small soup and then taking most of it home, but I am sure I will get used to that. At first I made the excuse of: I am not really super hungry but I knew if he ordered something I would want something (to the waitress) and then I thought why did I just give that excuse. I do not "have" to order if I don't want too. Just order your drink and chat and enjoy the company of others. It is all good. We will see how I do next time.

Tomorrow I am helping host a birthday party at a bowling center for my youngest. We will see how it goes, and go from there too. Man I feel like I could use a nap, right now. Seriously energy drain drives me banana wackers, and soon I am sure I will find a happy medium.

I might write more late, but for now be safe all and see you later!

The Smoken Dragon

Not much today.... up and down

Not much to write about today, tomorrow is my week check up from post op. It is all good, but eh... feeling blah today. I think I am tired and sore and ready to get back to normal. I would be lying if I told you it wasn't hard for me to not put something into my mouth and eat something. I am hungry, probably not really, but I want to chew something. I fed the toddlers cheese leftover pizza and thought, DUDE I want some. In reality I probably didn't want to, but it smelt good, and I wanted to try it.

It is a struggle but I know I will keep on keeping on. I did some work around the house, organizing the kids play room, and trying to get things done. It is a struggle, but I know the benefits of the long run will be worth it. I often think if my cheating (having a bite of ice cream, or my 2-4 ounces of chocolate skim/white milk a day) is actually bad for me and I am setting myself up for failure, but I think I need something to perk my day up. I haven't really "ate" anything, because I do not want to tempt hurting my inner incisions.

So, ya this is my post for today. I think. Cause I don't have to much to say. Today was tough but manageable. Tomorrow is the official weigh in, and we will see what the doctor says, and go from there so maybe more excitement tomorrow.

Take care all and see you on the flip side!

The Smoken Dragon

Day two of this blogging thing... kudos for me!

Many different subjects today, and different areas of focus I think. Still hungry, or at least I think I am, but not really. I am more missing the fact of eating not really needing to eat. I am cheating though, I will be honest with you and myself. I am not on a total clear liquid diet anymore, cause dude so can't do it. I am about to gag if I have to drink another clear drink (water, broth, tea... etc). So I cheated and added a little bit of milk. Now those who know me, know I do not like milk, but thankfully it is a pleasant change in flavor/texture (yes milk has texture) that it is all good! SO, I am cheating with a smile and knowing, I had some chocolate milk and I feel a whole lot better. I actually did some work around the house too (cleaned out my large walk in closet) well okay, more like started cleaning it out. Got rid of two large bags of Goodwill donations, and I have more to mentally part with knowing I will not need them but having the "what if" worry. It's all good, I will part with it, my closet will be happy and my life will be less cluttered, so BONUS!

So, what the hell is with all the food commercials and ads on the television? I mean seriously, I am going to do a poll of seeing in an hour time of watching TV, how many food commercials are on the tube. Seriously people! We bitch because our nation is fat, but what do we promote? Food! We say our children are starving (which in some cases, they are, donate to your local food shelf and help someone in need or offer money to your local schools to help compensate for student lunches) but yet we still say our children are obese and getting fatter by the minute. Okay, this is semi-true, our children, our youth, our gosh darn future is becoming fatter or at least less active. Again I am not shaming fatness, I am comfortable with my fatness, I am shaming the finger pointing and saying it is your fault or Joe's fault or my fault, but no one is doing anything about it. Granted I have not done any actual research about this topic because guess what guys total tangent topic today, but seriously stop pointing fingers, and start offering suggestions.

Subject Girl Scout Cookies... I was talking with a girlfriend of mine and asking for donations or purchase of cookies... and how Girl Scouts does a great service to prepare girls for life (as Boy Scouts does the same for boys), but with our great epidemic of fatness or overeating, why isn't an organization as widely known as the Girl or Boy Scouts offer a healthier option instead of popcorn (boys) and cookies (girls)? Our children are being taught it is okay to eat whatever we want and not have to do anything about it. There is easy buttons like surgery (which it is NOT an easy button, but it is a tool), or fad diets, or pills, or just not plain eating. That is not healthy. We need to learn that life is about choices and those choices dictate what we do and how we do it. It is okay to have a cookie or popcorn once in a blue moon, not every day after school as a snack or with every meal as a substitute. We need to rethink our analyzes of what we are teaching our future. Children learn through mimicking what they see others do, and they interrupt their own understanding of what they are seeing and fit it into their own lives. As I have mentioned before I have 3 biological children and two step children. The step-children are kinda on their own without help from me, no matter how much I would like to help them they are stuck in their own minds that anything that anyone tells them will be worth naught. Sad really, how we can get so set in our ways that when we hear words or suggestions from others we shut down or ignore. Hey I never said life/change is easy. So, ya, my 11 year old has autism, and he is a tough nut to crack. He has his own quirks, interests, and desires, which do not always match mine, which is okay.

So, I got distracted as I often do, and now my ramblings have turned into a sleep hazed coma... I feel tired... that is one thing that has been hard, the ups and downs of the energy level. One minute I feel fine, and the next I feel tired. Roller coaster.... oh and another thing... so okay, males you might not want to hear this and females I can't remember if they tell you this or not, but ya.. your menus cycle, it comes back... I am on depo so the shot normally stops the bleeding, the cramps, the bloating, all of it, well I believe they say due to hormonal change, it changes your cycle again. It is crap. Just saying. Not happy about that change. :P

Oh, so as I mentioned my starting weight, I am now down to 308, so not bad. Doing good, keeping strong and keeping on keeping on. I will write again I am sure, but now sleep claims me (actually putting the toddlers to bed and then a shower then sleep) thought you might like to know LMAO!

Anywho see you all on the flip side,

Sinceriously,

Smokin Dragon

Start at the beginning

So, I am trying to keep myself busy. Why you might be asking yourself? Well, because I don't want to go eat. Eat because I am starving, or because I am bored. Eating is not a good choice for me, at least not right now, and maybe never again. Life needs to change if I will be healthy for my family and be here for them when they are my age.Who the hell am I, huh? Well I am the blogger of this blog, and the owner of these ideas, and the crazy person behind the curtain. 

Life it is full of choices, good or bad, they are there. We ALL have choices. So, again we are back to why am I doing this? Well, I am doing this to stay busy, duh. Seriously I thought we discussed that already, but I suppose you want to know about the meat and tators of the situation, eh? Okay, I can do that... I chose to have weight loss surgery, a gastric bypass sleeve thing, which went well (or so far I think it went well, I am only day 3 post-op) so ya. But I will tell you this, if you are thinking about having this surgery, please do your own research, determine if it is right for you... do NOT let anyone tell you you have to do it, do not make others make up your mind for you... cause, ya you have to live with the decision, not anyone else. Above all else do it for your own reasons, okay? Okay. I mean I will tell you my successes, my failures, my whatevers, but do not base your own ideas strictly on my ideas, don't be a sheepople... (sheep-people). 

So, who am I and why did I decide to do such a damn drastic measure and cut myself open and have my stomach ripped out rather viciously (like a rabid chihuahua starving for a bone), well because I was a fat healthy horse, knowing that the healthy portion of my life was slowly slipping from my fingertips. IT was like a wet slippery soap that was slowly fading from my fat little sausages, and I knew if  I DIDN'T do something about it, I would be six feet under and my three children would be crying over a corpse of a fat "healthy" horse. *Plays the sob music here* Hey I should get this outta the way now, I might SOUND like I am putting myself down, but really I am not. I was body conscious and comfortable with my weight. I was okay with being fat, still am (because look only day 3 after, and guess what peeps, still fat!) I have a husband that loves me for me, and I have a family that is supportive of me, so it was all good, but I knew and I repeat I KNEW I needed to make the change so I am there when my youngest is 50 years old and has his own children. 

I am 5'6" and at my top weight I was 336, yup, holy $^!*, I was fat. That was okay, I was comfortable. I am not trying to body shame anyone so, if you think that I am sorry for you... keep on reading or keep on walking, no damn skin off of my nose. But if you want to continue to read, strap yourself in tight because dude it is going to be a damn bumpy road, cause I might write back to back day to day, or I might skip a month or 5, who the hell knows. I just know I need to do something to distract me. I know that if I can make a change it will become a habit, if I associate wanting to eat, with wanting to write maybe I will be able to publish a book like I want too (it is on my bucket list).

How did this all start? Well like I mentioned I am... hey I didn't mention my age, well I am 36, and anyways ya fat. Fat healthy horse of a self, border line diabetic, with family history of high blood pressure (which I was fine), heart disease, morbid obesity, and lack of motivation to stay busy. I hate hate hate hate did I mention hate exercise? 

Ya I have to change that attitude, and I will by walking and getting active. I can do it, I am strong, I am awesome, and again I have a great support system (family/friends). The kicker?! Is now I am on blood pressure medicine, for the next few days because this change in my diet my body is like WTF man, we were doing good, wtf is going on, why you do this to us Joe, seriously if I have to drink one more protein shake or drink one more crystal light I am going to go postal. What the heck, you might be asking about the random tangent, well I will be honest this will happen a lot, I ramble, I get distracted, and ooo hey look shiny! I am off on another direction. That is me. As I mentioned this blog is mainly my own personal therapy so it is all good, I don't really have to make sense to anyone but myself, BUT if I can help someone who is thinking about it, awesome-sauce. 

Okay so this crystal light, high protein, liquid thing what is, it? Well it will be your worst nightmare for the next few months. Dude I am a chewer, I love to eat, don't get me wrong, I love to drink too, and that might be my downfall (hopefully not) but right now, since all I am doing is drinking, if I never saw another packet of crystal light or propel I would probably be OK with that. I say that now, because that is all I am doing, is drinking. We shall see, remember kiddos only day 3 post-op. I am sure it will change, we will see which way it falls for the good or the bad. So for the barbaric (bariatric) center that I went through they had me do a 10 day high protein liquid diet before my surgery to help prepare my bowels for the change. Now, okay, don't plan to do something like this when it is your husband or significant other's birthday celebration and go to a place that has tasty food that you want to eat. Thankfully though I did really well and only wanted fried rice once, I drank my iced tea, chatted with my friends/family and overall enjoyed the company. I made it, it was awesome, but I would be lying if I didn't say I was envious. I wanted to chew on some sushi and tempura, granted I knew the fried food would make me sick but I didn't care.. I was on day 5 out of 10, so I was strong at that point. First two days was rough. Okay, it was you looked at me funny warning I might eat your face, bad. Which is rough because I have two toddlers. A two year old and a four year old, they are 14 months a part and well, ya best friends and worst enemies and knew what buttons to push on mommy to make her flip her sheeeeznet. 

Anywho, if you could lock yourself away for at least the first two to three days when you start your liquid diet I would suggest it. By day three I was good, no longer salivating at the smell of food, or thinking I was a zombie after some brains, I was a tiger (or in my case) a dragon on a leash and I was doing walkies with the big gods er dogs (meaning I was able to sip my broth, or protein shake) as I made full meal dinners for my family of 7. See I only mentioned the toddlers, because they can not feed themselves, the others can be resourceful and open a bag of chips or hot dogs, or hell dial pizza, toddlers not so much. Ya, well I will still fed the family, had company over and even hosted dinners for others. Yes, yes I am crazy. But I did it, and this is why I think I got this. It is going to be bumpy but overall I got this. It is all good. It is a change but life is about changes and dude... without change we would probably be dead. 

So, last Thursday I had my surgery in the morning, my biggest anxiety? The IV poke, which dude the nurse rocked my socks... she only poked me twice. You might be like dude twice, but I am like ONLY TWICE... my normal IV stick is a minimum of like 5... so 2 was HEAVEN! Even the blood draw was only one poke, the nurses at Methodist have their stuff down.... I was pleasantly surprised for that. So, ya surgery day, don't remember it, I mean I remember getting up to pee, and to walk like the hallway like a zombie in the night (I would be seriously surprised if I weren't moaning brains or some stuff like that), but other than that I mainly slept. Slept like the freekin dead, until my back cried at me to move my fat butt because I am a side tummy sleeper and well guess what peeps, you get to sleep elevated in the 45 degree angle position... my back still hurts from that, not sure if it is the gas they pump you with, or the actual back saying: you suck a duck mother f'r. Who knows, all I know is I want to go get a massage, and probably should wait until my incisions heal a bit first.  Seven of them, and they are itchy as hell. Only one truly hurts when I move, and that is the big one, when I twist. I am still sleeping semi elevated, and when I can home on Saturday I still slept my life away. It is all good though... I am recovering. Still hate crystal light and propel (to damn sweet, even when I water them down).  Broth is salty, and I am about to say my kingdom for tators and a steak (granted I know I would not be able to keep them down). My stomach can only hold about 2-3 ounces at a time now, so I better not push it because puking is the worst... yep... so here I am.. I shall write when I am hungry. 

So, if you are thinking about this journey or have been on it, feel free to write a comment or two, we can chat. IF you have nothing nice to say, trust me Karma will bite you... do onto others and all of that... 

Sinceriously,

The Smoken Dragon